What Lane did

The New York Times has a very interesting article about why we laugh. It’s worth reading. But I want to raise a larger issue, which is this: why don’t they find the muffin joke funny?

Go read the opening joke of the article, and see if you thought that was funny. I thought it was, so much so that I literally LOL’ed sitting right here at my computer.

This month’s Wired magazine, apparently, focuses on what they are calling “snack culture,” or the idea that pop culture is now available in tiny bits consumable at any time, most any place. Which is probably true, as this week I read a Mossberg piece in the Wall Street Journal about people subscribing to a service that lets them stream live television to their phone (!). Steven Johnson writes an excellent response, citing long-form television dramas as proof that when the situation demands it, people are willing to devote increasingly long periods of time to television shows. No kidding. Just off the top of my head, let’s see what I’ve put in for some of my recent favorites:

• 24: 33.6 hours [48 episodes of the first 2 seasons @ 42 minutes each]
• Angel: 77 hours [105 episodes @ 42 minutes each]
• Arrested Development: 18.6 hours [51 episodes @ 21 minutes each]
• Battlestar Galactica: 40.3 hours [miniseries plus Seasons 1 to present @ 44 minutes each]
• Buffy the Vampire Slayer: 71.4 hours [102 episodes @ 42 minutes each]*
• The Sopranos: 70.6 hours [77 episodes @ 55 minutes each]
• Trailer Park Boys: 14.2 hours [34 episodes @ 25 minutes each]
• Veronica Mars: 12.6 hours [18 episodes before I gave up on it @ 42 minutes each]
• The Wire: 45.8 hours [50 episodes @ 55 minutes each]
• The Simpsons: Without any exaggeration, hundreds and hundreds of hours over the last 18 years.

Notice the assumption that these are watched on DVD or ReplayTV without a single commercial break, which is most certainly not true for The Simpsons or 24. These are serious percentages of my waking life, and yet I would recommend any of them (except Veronica Mars) to any of my friends who care enough about my opinion to listen. But man, if I told you guys I had seen an amazing movie, and you’ll love it, and it’s only 77 hours long, is there anyone who would ever even momentarily consider watching it? Well, except Missy, of course.

*I only watched Seasons 1 through 5, plus the musical episode and the final episode.

This is a great example of a movie to be seen long after the reviews you might have read have been forgotten and your friends are no longer likely to mention it. Its conceit can easily be destroyed with too much close examination. But like the best science fiction, I Heart Huckabees works wonderfully when taken at face value on its own terms. We all go through these existential crises when we’re 18 or whatever and finally old enough and smart enough to start doubting everything we know. This is a great and rare example of taking something so tragic and ridiculous and important-yet-meaningless and turning it into a genuinely quirky comedy.

My Review: Clever and interesting. I’d watch it again.

Yes, I drink Diet Mountain Dew. I am fully aware of how gross it is. Tonight, however, I got a bit of proof. I purchased a Diet Mountain Dew out of a hotel vending machine, and noticed the cap was for a contest that ended in November 2006. Then, I noticed that the “expiration date” of the drink was about three weeks ago. Needless to say, it tastes exactly the same. I don’t think Diet Mountain Dew can “expire.” It can only “become sentient.” Fear it.

Pepsi is releasing a product that is called “Pepsi Max” and will have a third more caffeine than Diet Mountain Dew. Now if only there would be a Coke Zero Max. Coca-Cola, are you listening?

This really does sound like a good idea.

4:16 PM Anne: i just made the best food discovery ever
4:17 PM me: what?
Anne: chocolate oatmeal!
4:18 PM me: ?
Anne: you mix a packet of instant oatmeal with a packet of instant sugar free hot cocoa
then add hot water
it is creamy and chocolately and more satisfying than a cup of hot cocoa
4:19 PM me: wow
you might have just saved winter
Anne: i recommend it
i would maybe add some milk

South Park is good again. I have seen several episodes of it this year, and it is every bit as good as it was in the first couple of seasons. Their premises are both topical and ludicrous, which is when the show is at its very best.

Except last night, when we watched an episode that was not topical at all. It was called Stanley’s Cup, and the premise was that the episode would be set up with every conceivable cliche from sports movies we have all seen, and then it would explode those cliches by refusing to give in to a single one of them. Which is a harmless enough idea, except that once it’s executed the result is just mean. There’s a reason people want to see underdogs win and a happy ending, rather than watching children die a cruel and horrible death. Damn it, I’m not ashamed that I cried at the end of Miracle, even though I was on an airplane. Just because I’m conscious of the rather obvious manipulation of such movies doesn’t mean that it doesn’t work.

Which is probably a rather disturbing insight into my own psyche, but I’ll avoid thinking about that right now.

My review: Sucked.

This was a huge disappointment, because I think Michael Showalter is hilarious. Wet Hot American Summer was hilarious. Stella was hilarious. The Baxter is not hilarious. It has a couple of chuckles, but so does lunch with my coworkers on a Tuesday. It is a crappy chick flick in which we are supposed to feel sorry for the poor put-upon nice guy. But why would we feel sorry for him? Click for spoilers.

Continue reading…

Seriously, check it out. I pounded like six of these one night. The night proceeded to be awesome. Coincidence?